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This article was co-authored by Paul Chernyak, LPC.Paul Chernyak is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Chicago.But in order for a relationship to be healthy, it needs a few key ingredients!Open, honest and safe communication is a fundamental part of a healthy relationship.He graduated from the American School of Professional Psychology in 2011.
In active listening, we also are genuinely interested in understanding what the other person is thinking, feeling, wanting, or what the message means, and we are active in checking out our understanding before we respond with our own new message. In a world where time is of the essence and we are trying to fit in more than one lifetime, we don’t always have the time to give to our loved ones, friends, and work colleagues.
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We restate or paraphrase our understanding of their message and reflect it back to the sender for verification. Technology has somewhat eroded our ability to build real rapport and we attempt to multi-task by texting and talking at the same time.
This verification or feedback process is what distinguishes active listening and makes it effective. Being present in the time you give to people is also important, so that, when you are with someone, you are truly with someone and not dwelling in the past or worrying about the future. Communication occurs when someone understands you, not just when you speak.
One of the most profound experiences we can have in our lives is the connection we have with other human beings.