Dating newly divorced woman
I love her as much today as I did when I had to walk away almost two years ago.I am working on trying to let it all go and just have a fond memory of us. I dated a couple of women but let them know early that I was unable to feel anything more than friendship for them.I was like a bull in a china shop, knocking women down like bowling pins in my attempt to find my next love.I recall meeting a charming woman at a cafe who when I told her I was recently separated said to me, “Call me in a year or two,” and walked out.I was shocked that she was so conscious of the pitfalls of dating newly divorced men until I realized she had probably learned her lessons the hard way. Run, don’t walk away from a man who just left a relationship. Stay home and think about your part in the recently failed relationship.Find another man or men who you can trust and talk with them about how you’re feeling.Instead, take the time to heal by sitting quietly alone and ponder your failed relationship until you can feel the sadness. Those who rushed into their next relationship or marriage failed to a man. I left my relationship as I had written above in a post...weeks later he has done a complete turnaround has entered counselling, starteds listening to a course of relationship tapes he now listens to every spare minute he can get, he seems (and I say seems because Im just letting the test of time show me if this is knee jerk or real change ) to have let all the pain go and where as before he wanted to make sure no one got anything from him again now he wants to share everything and create a life for us, not him.............there has been a great deal of pain and I cant switch back in an instant even if I wanted to but I am listening and watching and have told him we can go right back to the beginning be friends and he can earn my trust over time and if he is genuine he will not let it go no longer how long it takes, we talk and talk and talk now whereas before I couldnt talk about anything.....Im not saying its all definately going to come together like I said I have a we will see attitude...it is certainly a good lesson in, if it aint quite right let it go and if its yours it will come to you....When the pain surfaces resist stuffing it back down and allow it to filter into your heart, after which it can work its way to your brain in the form of lessons learned. I fought hard for two yrs and in hindsight I shouldve just let it go then and there!! I am currently dating a man (he pursued me right after his separation) and right after my separation too. Our relationship is great except he is having MAJOR issues getting over the guilt of leaving his marriage (even though he knows it was what he wanted).
When I was 30 I got into dating a week after separating, and while I had been unhappily married to an alcoholic, I didn’t take any time to consider my role in the failed marriage or the grief I felt about it.
I know I wish I had waited to get involved with him, but I didnt. I was in a bad place in my head and like a junkie or alcoholic, I thought I could handle it.
But my unresolved issues came up time and time again.
I have known several women who have had the misfortune of dating newly divorced men.
They all say these fellows behave as if they just got out of prison.